The thing about depression is that it turns you into a cold hearted motherfucker. You know that life is just all against you and there’s nothing you can do about it. One day you wake up and you kind of just submit to all these pointless sufferings. It’s like you have finally accepted that life is a lemon throwing asshole in the sky. And you can’t make lemonade out of that, right?

You start faking a smile around people just to make it seem that you’re okay. It irritates you how and why you’re surrounded by a bunch of hypocrites. Don’t you all get sad and mopey and miserable at times? But the thing about my depression is that it’s not at all sad, mopey and miserable. Just, sometimes!



The moment you start hoarding food from your refrigerator? And gobble up let’s say, the leftover cake from your brother’s birthday? That’s when self-loathing shifts to misanthropy real quick. You can get as cold as ice, as bitter as your earwax and go on a judging spree on facebook. While eating the leftover cake of course.

Fb Friend: Off to the gym!
Me: Off to a cliff and jump to my horrible horrible death!

FB Friend shared a photo “Quote about Success.”
Me: The closest I have to success is getting out of bed to get food from the fridge and then run back to the bedroom before anyone sees me. *scrolls down*

FB Friend: “Unfriending all these negative people on Facebook.”
Me: Bitch can't do it without announcing. Hey Little Miss Pocketful of Sunshine living in your make-believe, naive and ridiculously all too positive world. Pick me!!!

FB Friend: “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” ~Buddha
Me: I thought your hairline is just reclining. Now, you're quoting Buddha? Looks like someone's going to Tibet. Everyone's going somewhere and I'm here on my bed. At least I still have my hair. Lots of hair.

Maybe it’s good that I’m actually secluded and away from hoomans. Unfortunately for our cats, they entered my room. And I just channelled my bitterness towards these feline creatures and started what would be called "catsanthropy".

What’s up with you cat? Why are you so fucking cute? I want to rip your eyes out and replace it with fish eyes that way you’ll even be cuter.

Oh there’s another one!?

Why do you look like Willem Dafoe?

Great, another cat!? Now life is a cat throwing something something?

This cat has three colors. Ugly!!

Hey, Garfield! Lose the damn weight. People are gonna judge you. I'm judging you.

Stop playing with your shadow idiot!

Now you’re all up in my bed?

Stop that! It’s cute.

It’s making me happy. I’m not supposed to feel this way.

I invoke my right to be gloomy and bitter. Like Wednesday Addams! (If the Addams ever decide to adopt a Filipino baby and call it 'Thursday'.)

Why are you all here?

Oh, you’re really cute.

Hey, I need to justify my depression with sadness. Just stop fucking with my feelings!

Fuck these cats.

Oh!

God!

No!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

A cat just pooped on my bed.