If you've been following my blog you probably already know about what happened the first time we went to the riverside. I had a nightmare the night it happened. In my dream I woke up with an unbearable hunger and when I went to the kitchen the crazy person was washing the dishes and creepily smiled at me. The lights were off. But the moon beamed through the window so I could see it very clearly. And it was there! It was just standing there smiling at me. Scary shit! I also dreamed about a twisted version of the river people and you don't wanna know about it. But I'm saving that concept for a potential film.
I also mentioned how much I feel at peace when I'm in the river and I still do. Allow me to focus on that because on our second walk to the river we made something so rushed, river-rushed and yet so personal. It was an entry to a nationwide short film competition called Cinephone. Our entry was entitled "Suba" which is the Cebuano translation for "River". This is the first time that I'll share my screen writings but forgive us (me especially) if we didn't made justice on the 3 minute short or the theme for the competition which is "Peace" btw.
We didn't have much time because we decided to join two days before the deadline and we couldn't schedule a good time for shoot and we didn't have bikes. We also don't have real actors so it was kind of a struggle for everyone. Lastly, 3 minutes was just too short for what I wrote. Hahaha
Logline:
On a hot summer day a kid wanders around their neighborhood to seek peace from their home.
Story
FIRST DRAFT - We focus on a kid drawing something on the ground. We hear his parents argue in the background. It enrages him and he quickly gets his bike. We follow him bike from around the neighborhood. He passes by a gate where a girl gets out with her bike. He paddles with rage. She follows. He dumps his bike, gets on a cliff, finds rocks and throws them on the river. He screams. He holds his tears. He sees a huge rock and tries to bring it down but he couldn't. The girl arrives. He stops. She starts to ask some question. He shares a bit. The girl thought of something. They both threw something on the river. Something important to them. And they biked all the way home.
But after realizing how cliche that was! My god summer films with kids and bikes in them. So revise! revise! revise! Then I shifted from writing a story to writing the dialogue. By the way I just used a notepad in writing this. But I normally use Celtx on my other works. Anyway . . .
Dialogue
But the final cut was this! Actually we didn't have any other cut so this is the final output. What you see is what you get I suppose.
Yeah, it's kinda vague but I hope you get it somehow. We used my Samsung Galaxy S4 and if you noticed we used the instagram ratio to our film and we didn't get to edit the sound though. But I think that's kind of a good thing because it kinda feels raw.
Anyway, today is the last day of voting so if you like the video! Please help us get to the finals by clicking the link below:
http://mmda.gov.ph/index.php/cinephone/40-cinephone/1680-suba
To vote you must be logged on to your facebook account and just hit the Facebook like button on the website! Lastly, this is the Part 2 of my river series on this blog and there's a part 3 which involves a boat ride across the river so watch out!
I also mentioned how much I feel at peace when I'm in the river and I still do. Allow me to focus on that because on our second walk to the river we made something so rushed, river-rushed and yet so personal. It was an entry to a nationwide short film competition called Cinephone. Our entry was entitled "Suba" which is the Cebuano translation for "River". This is the first time that I'll share my screen writings but forgive us (me especially) if we didn't made justice on the 3 minute short or the theme for the competition which is "Peace" btw.
We didn't have much time because we decided to join two days before the deadline and we couldn't schedule a good time for shoot and we didn't have bikes. We also don't have real actors so it was kind of a struggle for everyone. Lastly, 3 minutes was just too short for what I wrote. Hahaha
Logline:
On a hot summer day a kid wanders around their neighborhood to seek peace from their home.
Story
FIRST DRAFT - We focus on a kid drawing something on the ground. We hear his parents argue in the background. It enrages him and he quickly gets his bike. We follow him bike from around the neighborhood. He passes by a gate where a girl gets out with her bike. He paddles with rage. She follows. He dumps his bike, gets on a cliff, finds rocks and throws them on the river. He screams. He holds his tears. He sees a huge rock and tries to bring it down but he couldn't. The girl arrives. He stops. She starts to ask some question. He shares a bit. The girl thought of something. They both threw something on the river. Something important to them. And they biked all the way home.
But after realizing how cliche that was! My god summer films with kids and bikes in them. So revise! revise! revise! Then I shifted from writing a story to writing the dialogue. By the way I just used a notepad in writing this. But I normally use Celtx on my other works. Anyway . . .
Dialogue
Girl: "That's my rock kid."
Kid: "It's heavy."
Girl: "Will you please move away."
(Kid notices the girl's blonde hair)
Kid: "Are you an American?"
Girl: "Of course not, I look just like everyone else."
Kid:"Do you know where I can get some money?"
(simultaneously the girl moves the huge rock and digs a stash of cigarette)
Girl: "You shouldn't be thinking about that. You know, you should be throwing rocks on other kids. Not on the freakin river."
(Kid stares blankly on the river)
Kid: "I don't know. Life is hard no matter how old you are. I guess."
Girl: "Don't you have any friends?"
Kid: "I like to be alone."
Girl: "You want me to go?"
Kid: "You can stay. As long as you stay quiet."
*quiet, peaceful and awkward moment*
Note: Use silent comedy music on this.
(Girl's cellphone beeps)
(The message upsets her)
*the kid throws a stone on the river*
(Girl's phone beeps again)
*the kid gives her a look and throws another stone*
Girl breaks the awkwardness
Girl: "The view's really rad. Right?"
Kid: "I'm used to it. It used to be quiet in here though."
*girl rolls her eyes*
*Girl turns phone on silent mode*
*puts on headset*
*closes her eyes*
Kid stands up and picks up another stone.
Kid runs toward the cliff and throws the stone.
*loud splash*
*girl rattles*
Girl: "What the hell is that?"
We skip to.
*girl smoking*
Kid: "Can I try that?
Girl: "You could die from this you know!?"
Kid: "So you want to die then?"
*Girl throws the cigarette*
Girl: "You're so judgmental you know."
Kid: "Bad breakup?"
Girl: "Fuck. How old are you?"
Kid: "Old enough to know. I guess."
Girl: "Stop watching too much TV. Okay?"
*shot of a beautiful sunset*
Girl: "Aren't your parents looking for you?"
Kid: "That's why I'm here."
Girl: "Well, you want to know why I'm here?"
Kid: "No. Thank you. I've had enough drama."
Girl: "Well throwing rocks? That's amateur."
*Girl receives an upsetting text*
Girl: "Fuck."
*Girl stands up*
*Her eyes get teary*
*About to scream but hold backs*
*Kid gives her another look*
Girl: "Damn why you're so judgemental."
Runs to pick up rocks and throws them.
Kid joins.
Kid laughs.
Both of them laughs.
End
But the final cut was this! Actually we didn't have any other cut so this is the final output. What you see is what you get I suppose.
Yeah, it's kinda vague but I hope you get it somehow. We used my Samsung Galaxy S4 and if you noticed we used the instagram ratio to our film and we didn't get to edit the sound though. But I think that's kind of a good thing because it kinda feels raw.
Anyway, today is the last day of voting so if you like the video! Please help us get to the finals by clicking the link below:
http://mmda.gov.ph/index.php/cinephone/40-cinephone/1680-suba
To vote you must be logged on to your facebook account and just hit the Facebook like button on the website! Lastly, this is the Part 2 of my river series on this blog and there's a part 3 which involves a boat ride across the river so watch out!
