I have long accepted the fact that I can never go shopping without being incessantly whiny and in boring times - a bitch. Thinking about it, I feel like I was more of a whiny kid than the bodyguard my Mom asked me to be for my sisters who needed to buy clothes for their Christmas parties.


Oh yeah, Christmas! With Christmas coming and parties going on just about every corner shopping malls gets really crowded every time. And that's when the whining starts!

1.) I hate the crowd.

I may have experienced a terrifying earthquake inside a Mall where people screamed to their lungs shattering nearly every glass window into pieces and leaving two children (an 8 years old me and my 5 years old cousin) crying for help but I don't think that's where my hatred to the crowd started.

It could be the smell and the temperature a crowd creates that usually comes with extra bombing of farts and fifty shades of darkness but maybe there's something more than that. Sometimes my eyes get sore just looking at the crowd moving to every direction. And it's makes me dizzy as hell! 

2.) My indecisiveness!

This is when I feel like I've made the biggest decisions in life. What to buy!? Which color? The pricey or the cheap one? Does this look good on me? Should I buy this? What the hell. This has always been my problem when I go shopping alone. And I'm the problem when I go shopping with others. I get a headache just wandering around to look for whatever it is I 'need or want' to buy and it gets worse when life puts a lot of questions in between picking and purchasing an item. I don't think I'm a bad shopper though.

3.) Strange Faces!

When we go out for shopping we usually see a lot of people around. We meet strangers and even say hi to some who looks familiar but later on we realize that we were never acquainted to them. It turns out we just saw them the other day in a coffee shop, jeepney ride or something like that.

And imagine if you're in a crowd that has lots of strangers in it. I don't know why but sometimes I nod to these eerily familiar people whose names and faces bothers me a lot. Also, I think my mind couldn't process a lot of familiar faces and the pimples in them all at once. I'm easily distracted of the haggard and funny faces of Christmas shoppers that even if I don't intend to be mean I start laughing like an idiot in the middle of the Mall. OH, only God knows why!

4.) I'd Rather Be Alone

This is rather lonely than snobbish but I prefer shopping alone. However, it would be nice and I sometimes wish to meet a friend along the way but whenever I spot a friend my ninja skills would've had me turn invisible. Sometimes, it scares me that they'd be talking about how much I lose or gained, how's my academics, work or worse have I finally gotten into a relationship.

Another thing! I hate going around with pushy staff. They follow you like you're a thief and they try to mess up with your choices. One time, I was having a hard time picking a long sleeve polo that'll suit my brown vest. A saleswoman told me it goes well with yellow. But I look fat in yellow so I picked blue. She told me I'm gonna regret it because blue doesn't go well with brown. Then I told her 'Did you know that 'brown and blue' is a royal color combination most popular to Versailles!' Chos.

5.) The Crowd Hates Me

Who wouldn't? When you turn into a cranky whiny monster who's on the verge of becoming a misogynist asking why do girls like shopping a lot.

I think the only time I'll like shopping is when I have a lot of money which is like only once a month. Do you like shopping? So, how's your last minute Christmas shopping?